Publicado en Diario de Sevilla
La decoración de Sevilla empieza a preocuparme. Primero, porque semejante ciudad creo que no necesita “adornos”. Segundo, porque algunos molestan a la vista, al oído y al paseo. La hicieron casi peatonal y no se puede andar por ella. Algo curioso. Señorías, peatón es el que va a pie. Pero si creen que se puede andar entre 5.000 veladores (lo siento Herrera, al final su frase será más tontos que veladores), el tranvía, el carril bici, carpas, 100.000 botellines y 200.000 codos es que han confundido zona peatonal con el Carrefú. Lo último y más in en decoración son los “emoticonos” de la Avenida de la Constitución. Una serie de personajes que aglutinan un corro de curiosos alrededor. Supongo que en otras ciudades también serán parte del ornamento. Tenemos la flamenca del guasap, la cara sonriente del payaso, el cristo, el camarero resbaladizo (avé si te cae ya), las tres cabezas decapitadas, el tío que levita sin explicación, la trompeta, el saxofón, un organillo (o dos), el disc jockey, el mariachi… Los mejores emoticonos son los que parecen sacados de Facebook. Sí, cuando los tocas te dan un susto de muerte. ¡Se mueven! ¡La madre que lo…! En Sevilla sería mejor tener alas, a vista de pájaro. A vista de dron, que se dice ahora.
Ya tenemos una cultura nueva, la cultura del emoticono. Porque yo ya por el guasap ni escribo, la verdad. Muñeco va, muñeco viene. Ésto me hace pensar que el sevillano necesita más emoticonos en el móvil. Uno con la tapita de adobo del Blanco Cerrillo para quedar allí, o los chochitos del Quitapesares, una florecilla de Toranzo, una pringá, un nazareno, una botella de Tío Pepe, el toro de Osborne (traducción: estoy en La Maestranza)… ¿Han visto cuántas banderitas hay? Con las del Sevilla y del Betis sería suficiente. Anda que no iban a ir y venir. Y tantos emoticonos de edificios y no está la Giralda o la Pelli, omepofavó. Si te mandan la Giralda te están llamando guapa y si mandan la otra ya sabes. Se admiten más ideas. Me cansa ya la flamenca y las jarritas de cerveza. Pero más me cansa este ayuntamiento que da licencias y una Gerencia de Urbanismo que no se pone de acuerdo para nada. Han hecho tan real la frase de que las generaciones venideras nos tomen por locos… Y no por su Catedral, señores. Y no por su Catedral. ¡De locos!
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